Cast of Characters* - Vesper: A beautiful, newly single girl - Ajax: A good looking, newly single guy - Tatiana: Vesper and Ajax’s mutual friend - Hubert: A good looking, extremely flirtatious guy, friends with Vesper - Louisa: A minor character, semi-friends with Vesper, more than semi-friends with Hubert - Bernard: A minor character, friends with Hubert and Vesper *Names have been changed to protect the innocent. Also, the guilty. Scene: A private university located in sunny southern California Vesper and Tatiana work together and, along with their other work friends, often go to the pub on campus when they get off for the day. One Tuesday, much the same as any other Tuesday, they are waiting at the bar to order drinks when Tatiana spies two of her friends - Ajax and Mr. Doesn’t Need A Name Because He Is Not Important To The Story. Tatiana makes the obligatory round of introductions and they decide to sit together. Drinks are drunk, jokes are joked, smiles are smiled and a good time is had by all. Eventually Mr. Doesn’t Need A Name Because He Is Not Important To The Story is forced to leave and Tatiana invites Vesper back to her apartment to continue along their merry way toward inebriation. Slightly concerned about drinking so heavily on a Tuesday, Vesper demurs, but Tatiana and Ajax, who happens to live in the same building as Tatiana, successfully convince her to accompany them. Once there, Vesper realizes her growing attraction to Ajax and, when he leaves to use the restroom, seizes the opportunity to inquire about him with Tatiana. Tatiana, after her initial surprise, informs Vesper that Ajax is recently out of a 4 year relationship. Vesper, shocked, tells Tatiana that she is recently out of a 4 year relationship as well. Excited by this potential happiness for her two friends, Tatiana resolves to talk to Ajax to see what he thinks of Vesper. Assured that the attraction is mutual, Ajax and Vesper begin to spend a lot of time together, much of it late at night. This leads to the obvious realm of hooking up and, after a few weeks, Vesper decides to talk to Ajax about whether they are headed anywhere except Booty-Callville. Meanwhile, Hubert, a nice guy in spite of his chronic flirtation, asks Vesper out on a date. Unsure about her relationship with Ajax and wanting to give Hubert a fair chance, Vesper agrees. Knowing Hubert’s reputation with women full well, she wisely refrains from developing and expectations about him or their date. When Vesper finally works up the courage to question Ajax about the status of their relationship she is surprised and gratified to learn that Ajax does, in fact, have feelings for her and likes her “a lot.” Wondering whether to cancel on Hubert, Vesper consults her friends who advise her that, because she and Ajax are still not exclusive, she should keep her date with Hubert and see where things go with both Hubert and Ajax. Hubert continues to flirt with Vesper in the days before their date and assures her that she is different to him than the other girls he has been flirting with, namely the most recent girl, Lousia. Still skeptical, Vesper allows herself to be slightly impressed with Hubert, but recognizes that she has fallen for Ajax quite heavily. Cut to a Wednesday, much the same as any other Wedensday, roughly three weeks after the opening of our story. Vesper is again at Tatiana’s apartment for a small get-together. Ajax is present, but Hubert, who also lives in their building, is out with his friends. Everyone becomes quite intoxicated and when it is time to leave Vesper tells her friends to go on without her as she plans on going to Ajax’s room instead of her own. Her friends then stage an intervention in Tatiana’s bathroom and insist that if she ever wants her relationship with Ajax to change she needs to stop hooking up with him. Vesper pleads with them to start the intervention the next day and, after much whispered argumentation, convinces them that she is fine, she will be fine, and she wants to go home with Ajax. (HERE COMES THE HILARITY) Vesper and Ajax leaves Tatiana’s apartment and, upon entering the stairwell, are arrested by the sight of Hubert and Louisa ascending the stairs. Alone. The four of them stop and stare at each other until Vesper bursts out laughing, yelps something about the situation being too awkward, and runs back into Tatiana’s apartment, followed closely by Ajax. Vesper collapses on the Tatiana’s floor, unable to do anything but laugh uncontrollably. After assuring themselves that the coast is clear, Vesper and Ajax leave to go to his apartment where Vesper receives a text message from Hubert assuring her that the situation was not what it looked like and that Bernard and another friend are parking the car and then coming up to his apartment. Mostly indifferent, Vesper accepts his explanation, reasoning that Hubert has no reason to lie to her since they are not attached to each other in any way. The next day, Vesper randomly runs into Bernard. Not thinking that there would be any reason to doubt Hubert’s story, she asks Bernard about his night. He tells her that he went out with Hubert and then, afterward, went to his other friend’s house. Surprised, Vesper asks him whether he ever went to Hubert’s apartment, which he denies. Completely amused by this turn of events, Vesper informs Bernard of what Hubert had told her. Vesper, needing to share the hilarity of the situation with someone, relates the story to her friend, Ms. My Name Is Also Unimportant, who immediately makes the story even more ridiculous with a hitherto unknown piece of information. It seems that, sometime in the previous week, Louisa had been observed talking to a random guy at a bar and asked Ms. My Name Is Also Unimportant not to tell Hubert this piece of information because – get this – they are “exclusive!”